


Next best thing

by Anneth_is_alright



Category: Youtube RPF
Genre: M/M, Tronler - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-21 09:45:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4824218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anneth_is_alright/pseuds/Anneth_is_alright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tronler<br/>As Troye hugs Tyler back, he sees Connor’s face, and this is the face of a person who is having his heart broken. Troye knows it well because he sees the same expression in the mirror every day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Next best thing

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Just Love Me When You Can (Gossip girl fanfiction)](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/149956) by singsongsung. 



> Translated into Russian [here ](https://ficbook.net/readfic/3781007)

Troye curls into a ball on the Tyler’s couch, munching on the chips passively. He wants to sulk but sulking implies being denied something you are entitled to, and in this case he is entitled to nothing. Tomorrow he returns back to Australia, and Connor has promised multiple times to do everything in his power to spend this last evening with him, but it is Sam’s or someone else’s birthday, so he can’t miss the party, and Troye is not invited. He almost never is. So he checks his Twitter maniacally and drowns in self-pity.

His breath hitches, when there is a new picture in Connor’s tags on Instagram, and although it is everything Troye has expected it to be, it still hurts.

Some girl – a beautiful girl – plants a kiss on Connor’s cheek, and he is either drunk enough or indifferent enough not to notice that the kiss is so sloppy that she basically kisses the spot between his jaw and the neck. Or maybe, he likes her back, and now they are hitting it off on the dance floor only to go upstairs a few minutes later.

Troye feels the couch cushion next to him shift, as Tyler sits down, passing him a new beer. Before Troye can lock his phone, Tyler catches a glimpse of it and smiles sadly, “Don’t let this get to your head.”

Troye hugs his knees, and asks, “How do you do this, Ty?” But when he asks this question, looking at his friend, he realizes how moot it is because all the pain his friend is feeling is written all over his face.

Pain from when Connor ditches him in order to hang out with o2l boys, or when he laughingly brushes off Tyler’s flirty comments and touches, or when Connor thanks him sincerely for being such a good friend. Troye knows for a fact that friend is the last thing Tyler wants to be for Connor, but he can’t stay away.

Neither can Troye. So he sniffles once again into his own knees, and lays his head in Tyler’s lap, picking up his MacBook and opening Tumblr.

  
***

It is DigiTour, and Tyler is interviewing all o2l boys, along with Troye. The majority of questions are boring, so Tyler intentionally picks the most provocative ones in order to tease the crowd. However, the one that makes Troye’s heart beat faster is addressed to Connor and is pretty innocent.

“Who is your best friend?”

Connor pretends to think for a second, as he dwells on how he should answer. Growing impatient, Tyler seems to know exactly what the other boy is thinking, as he sasses at him, “Don’t you dare answer that you have a lot of best friends. Pick the bestest one.”

Connor laughs at that, blushing slightly at how well Tyler knows him, his gaze briefly darting over Troye, but the moment is gone and he answers firmly, “In that case, Ricky.”

As the crowd awwws and Ricky pretends to wipe an imaginary tear, Troye’s stomach drops. Even though he understands in his mind that those interviews are only 30% true anyway, he still feels disappointment.

A second later Tyler fires the same question at Troye, and he is at loss. A minute ago he would have picked Connor in a heartbeat but he doesn’t want to look clingy and pathetic, so he goes in a completely different direction, “It’s you, Tilly.”

The crowd erupts in cheers, the girls all but chanting ‘Troyler’ and the o2l boys wiggling their eyebrows, and Troye catches Tyler’s serious gaze, and there is too much understanding in it than he would have preferred.

The next day it is Connor’s turn to interview them, and he does the job almost as perfectly as Tyler. He plays with the crowd, flirts with both of them just a tiny bit to keep things interesting and asks all the right questions. Except for the one that wasn’t asked and just hung in the air for everyone to wonder.

_Is Troyler real?_

It seems that the only people who don’t ship Troyler are Troye and Tyler themselves, but Tyler is too good at this game so he laughs and flirts back at Connor, and maybe there is a glimpse of something serious when he compliments the other boy jokingly.

Troye recognizes this as hope.

They are done with interview, and invite Connor to hang out in their room but he just raises eyebrows at them in surprise, “Wait, nobody told you? We are gathering in JC’s room after the show.” He gives them a brilliant smile, and adds, “You should come too. We are having a small party.”

As Troye and Tyler sit together in their small hotel room, feeling pathetic and eating Mexican room service food, Troye feels a hand on his knee. He looks up to meet Tyler’s solemn stare.

“Do you think, maybe, that we should?”

Troye squints in confusion, his knee in Tyler’s grip starting to shake from sheer nervousness, “What do you mean, Ty?”

Tyler releases Troye’s knee, as he turns away, “I mean, us. It would make sense. It is almost obvious. Everyone ships us already anyways.”

Troye wants to cry, and shout, and weep, and mope. But Tyler is his friend (his best friend, as he admitted a day ago), so Troye does the next best thing. He grabs his keycard and wanders off in search for JC’s party.

  
***

Italy is good. At the beginning of the trip it is their unanimous unspoken agreement to never split up and do everything together, and it works. They go on excursions, taste wine and drink beer, eat pizza and pasta, and check out the local bars. Troye is so infatuated with the romance of the place that barely has time to think that, maybe, friends are not supposed to share an umbrella or feed each other snacks. Just maybe.

It is only awkward when then the evening comes and they have to split up in pairs to check into hotel rooms. Connor looks up at Troye and asks lightly, “Wanna share?” and it is everything required for Troye to agree. He notices how Tyler shifts his gaze to the floor but a second later he is conversing casually with Marcus, as if nothing happened.

Troye knows he should talk to him but at the moment he can’t bring himself to care. Beggars can’t be choosers. He will gladly accept everything Connor would offer.

When the lads' trip is over, Troye feels that it is time for all of them to face the harsh reality. They are in Brighton now, and they don’t have the distraction of picturesque scenery or all of other guys. They are stuck in the small apartment with only one spare bedroom under Zoe’s observant stare.

Troye overhears Connor volunteering to sleep on the blowup mattress, ‘leaving the bed for Troyler’, as he jokes with Zoe about it, and Troye misses Italy already. Connor possesses an obliviousness of a person that has never had their heart broken.

They are sitting in a small restaurant, Zoe and Connor on one side, Tyler and Troye on the other. Everything is fine until one of them mentions Troyler, and Troye tenses.

“So?” Zoe quirks an eyebrow at both of them coquettishly, “When are you guys getting together already?”

The question is a bit impolite and slightly invasive but they love Zoe, and she is a friend. Besides, they asked a lot worse when Alfie was concerned.

Tyler laughs it off, and Troye catches Connor’s pensive stare, giving him a small smile.

A dinner and a bottle of wine later, Tyler drapes his arms across Troye’s bony shoulders, whispering a drunken ‘hello’, and Troye can’t find it in himself to lean back or even care.

From across the table he notices a pair of amused smirks Zoe and Connor shoot them.

  
***

Tyler is struggling. He is trying to juggle way too many things at the same time but ends up dropping them and crashing them.

He doesn’t eat at times, and sometimes eats way too much, and he works a lot, and Troye is getting concerned. He knows perfectly well that only Tyler himself can fix this problem but nobody can get through to him. Korey, and Jackie, and Zoe try but he brushes them off with ease.

Troye knows a way to get Tyler’s attention but also fails, left only with disappointment and a few lovebites on his neck.

“Con?” Troye asks one day when they are sitting together in a coffee shop, “Could you please talk to Tyler?”

Connor frowns at him, stirring the coffee in his mug, “About what?”

Troye sighs, burying his face into his hands, “He is being too hard on himself, he is always working, and no one can make him stop.” Troye feels like crying for some reason. He is so tired, so-so tired of all the pretending, all the lies. He wants to get home but he doesn’t have home anymore.

Connor goes in for a hug but stops midair to stare at Troye’s abused neck, “I didn’t know you…” He gestures to the hickeys uncertainly before smiling crookedly with a half of his mouth, “So, Troyler is finally real?”

“That is not the point, Connor!” Troye bursts out, suddenly angry at the oblivious boy with bright eyes. A second later influx of frustration is gone, leaving only emptiness, “Please, help Tyler because I can’t.”

So Connor does. He plans a one-man intervention on Tyler, takes away his phone and laptop for a week and goes with him on hikes. And although Tyler whines and complains, Troye sees the content glint in his eyes.

Beggars can’t be choosers, after all.

  
***

It is the 4th of July, and Troye is a little bit drunk on the wine and the fireworks. Marcus and Niomi are already at their hotel, settling in for the night, and that leaves Connor and Troye alone.

They are both tipsy, Connor is slightly more affected, and he can’t even be bothered with going back home and just crashes at Troye’s bnb. He is withdrawn again, the lively on-camera persona long gone, but at this point Troye knows that this is not bad, just different.

Troye leads him to a spare bedroom and silently watches as Connor, without a care in the world, slowly and clumsily undresses himself in front of him and crawls under the covers.

“Tro, baby, come here.”

His eyes widen at the nickname but he is drunk and Connor is drunk, so Troye just complies. He lies above the duvet, saving the other boy’s modesty, and chuckles at his own ridiculous thought.

“What?” Connor turns over to peer curiously at Troye.

“Nothing,” Troye shakes his head, still smiling.

“What?” Connor repeats more insistently, poking Troye’s cheek with his finger. He intends for the touch to be light but he can’t estimate his force properly and it is painful.

Troye winces, and Connor’s face falls. The transition is so drastic that it is almost comical. He leans into Troye and gives him a small peck on the cheek, “Here, all better.”

They are inches apart now, Connor’s pupils blown to the point where his eyes seem dark, and Troye’s eyes are wide and questioning. He reaches out to Connor’s cheek tentatively, and when Connor nods, all caution goes straight to the wind.

Troye is now under the covers as well, his hands exploring boldly, once again taking everything Connor has to offer as if there is no tomorrow. Because Troye knows that for them there won’t be.

The morning comes way too quickly. It is silent, and Troye is cold, and he half-expects to wake up alone in the apartment, but Connor is there. He passes the clothes to Troye and says things that make Troye wish that he were gone, “Come on, we need to pick up Tyler from the airport.”

When they finally get there, Troye is the first to spot a brightly-colored mane of hair in the crowd, as Tyler rushes to them and gives Troye a tight hug and a peck on the cheek, “Hi honey, I missed you so much.”

And as Troye hugs him back, he sees Connor’s face, and this is the face of a person who is having his heart broken. Troye is familiar with it because he has seen this expression on Tyler’s face so many times. Troye knows it well because he sees it in the mirror every day. They never speak of it again.

  
***

Troye hates Los Angeles.

He hates pretentious, fake, intimidatingly good looking people. He hates the food, the heat, the traffic. He hates the palms, the ocean, the humidity. He doesn’t care that there are the same palms, and ocean, and humidity in Perth. He wants to go home, back to his family. But the EP is only halfway done, and he has been dreaming about this for god knows how long, and he has a lot of obligations, and commitments, and duties, so he almost crumbles but he can’t let himself go.

He is back at Tyler’s place, and he shivers under two blankets, although it is more than hundred degrees outside, and he can’t talk. Tyler tries everything, but nothing works, so he eventually gives up and calls Connor.

Troye doesn’t know what Tyler has told him, but it is 2 a.m. and no one comments on the fact that Connor drove there at night, still wearing his pajamas, his hair flat on his forehead.

He sits next to Troye, wraps his hand around Troye’s trembling shoulders and asks in a small voice, “What’s wrong, baby?” And Troye curls into him, nestling his head in the crook of Connor’s shoulder, and starts to cry.

He is a sobbing mess, and his words don’t make much sense even to himself, but it is still some form of relief. Connor is warm and solid, and he is there. He is the closest to home Troye can get right now.

Troye never notices that Tyler leaves his own apartment to go over to Korey’s place.

  
***

“I love you.”

Tyler looks at him with wide eyes, clearly taken by surprise.

“I love you,” Troye repeats, and Tyler smiles.

And although the smile is nothing but sincere, Troye knows that there is sadness behind it. Troye also knows that this is not the kind of love they both feel for Connor but this is the next best thing.

“Love you too, Troye.”

  
***

5-year old Lauren twinkle-toes into the bedroom, looking up at him shyly, “Dad?”

Troye smiles at her, endeared, and leans to pick her up, “What, sweetie?” She is a little bit old for that but she will always be his princess.

Her blue eyes look at him questioningly, as she pouts, “Do you believe in soulmates?”

Troye gapes, briefly wondering whether she has been watching too much TV and whether he should put up a childlock password on Netflix, and answers, “Of course, honey.”

Still frowning slightly, she asks seriously, “Have you found yours?”

As Troye mumbles a gentle ‘yes’, he hears a soft giggle from the hall, and a second later Connor enters the room, giving his 4-year old son a piggyback ride. Their smiles are identical, and they both blush way too easily. “Here you two are,” Connor smiles at them, as he lowers the brown-haired boy to the ground.

“Charlie’s here!” Lauren squeals excitedly, as she wrestles out of Troye’s embrace, much to her father’s displeasure, and takes the boy’s hand to lead him into the playroom. Before she does, however, she stops right in front of Connor and beams at him with a charming smile she could only get from her father, “Dad has found his soulmate.”

Troye gulps, when Lauren suddenly continues, “Have you met yours, uncle Con?”

He looks up to find out that Connor is staring right at him with indecipherable, sad smile. He answers simply, gaze still fixed on Troye, “Yeah, I have.”

The door creaks open yet again, and Tyler enters the room, tired smile on his face. “What’s wrong?” he asks, sensing the mood.

As Lauren, still holding Charlie’s hand, is about to run out of the room, she turns to Tyler and supplies proudly, “Papa, Daddy Tro has a soulmate, and uncle Con also does!”

With that, both kids are gone, leaving the grown-ups stand awkwardly in Tyler’s and Troye’s bedroom.

Troye knows that he has found his soulmate and, indeed, so has Connor. They just didn’t end up together.


End file.
